Conservative Kurt Schlichter thinks Captain Marvel is unrealistic

Yolanda Curtis
March 8, 2019

When Carol starts glowing and easily dispatching her startled enemies, the pyrotechnics are impressive, but the emotional component is absent.

Watch the most powerful hero the universe has seen when "Captain Marvel" hits theaters on March 8. It's less about learning to master new powers than it is about learning to accept already being powerful. (Hint: It has the highest concentration of pubs outside the Trappist system.) It's also where she happens to crash-land after a tussle with a race of shapeshifters called the Skrulls. "Because I love the space my brain gets into when I'm doing it, it's like a meditation, it really sticks with me and it's profoundly changed the way I live my life". "She's sarcastic ... a little bit of a mean girl".

There's no gawking down the lens at her curves, there's barely a trace of sexual tension, and no innuendo.

Directed by indie film-making duo Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, Captain Marvel is the 21st instalment in the series of Marvel blockbusters that began with 2008's Iron Man.

It's possible that Captain Marvel won't be the best Marvel movie - but right now, we need your support, not your negativity.

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So to pass him in anything, especially scoring, would be something that we aren't going to see very often". He is averaging 27.1 points, 8.6 rebounds, and 8.0 assists per game this season.

In the lead, Larson is a zesty mix of impudence and introspection as a member of a crack team of intergalactic enforcers.

"Even before Room came out, I was stressing about money", the actress continued, referencing the 2015 movie that won her a Best Actress Oscar.

So, how can a run-of-the-mill pager contact someone who's supposedly still living her life, punching old aliens on trains back in 1995?

Earthbound flashbacks to Carol at different ages suffering she's-not-good-enough failures and chauvinist-delivered indignities pay off in a "pick yourself up" montage that resembles a sluggish Nike commercial.

Vers' struggles to assert herself are equated with gender inequality: she will eventually get to grips with Jude Law's condescending, mansplaining mentor, and on Earth she contemptuously dismisses demeaning men. What might have added some much needed texture and spice, if you will, to the otherwise drab visual palette is relegated to easy sight gags.

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It takes the rest of the film for her to put the pieces of her past together, discovering the identity of an older woman (Annette Bening) who reappears in a vision, and reconnecting with an old friend (Lashana Lynch) who's become a mother since they last hung out. Otherwise, with the exception of Mendelsohn's droll delivery and a stowaway cat named Goose (who knew that zero gravity cats could be so amusing?), this is an uncharacteristically dry affair for the MCU.

In two hours the film weaves its story of personal intrigue with some bruising if sometimes confusing action sequences, and the odd cathartic fist pump of righteous triumph.

Many people love Captain Marvel, of course, with 1,641 users giving it a flawless 10 score. The witty banter between them comes naturally, and their humour distracts you from the digital de-ageing of Jackson and Clark Gregg's Agent Coulson.

"It's war", someone offers by way of sympathy.

Given how multifaceted the journey's been, you can't help but feel slightly sorry for Scarlett Johansson's relatively less complex Black Widow, and look forward to when both women are finally on the screen together. Of all the complaints tossed toward the film in the run-up to its release, however, this one from Townhall columnist and self-described rebel Kurt Schlichter has to be the silliest.

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